I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize