Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
