that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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