After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
