i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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