We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
