"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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