Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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