why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
