david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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