sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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