I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
two words...techno handjob
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
