Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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