I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
