somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
