At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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