So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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