Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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