i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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