id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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