i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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