how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
