so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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