My room smells like vodka and shame
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
