Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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