I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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