you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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