oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
