Cold hands, warm shart.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
