So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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