Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize