she was so not down for the gang bang
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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