Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
