WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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