Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
