Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
