even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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