first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
