Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
