the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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