If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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