Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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