i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
third nipple confirmed
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The air taste purple.
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