i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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