I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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