yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's rum buckets o'clock
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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