so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
