He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I just shit out all my problems.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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