He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
