Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize