Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
