hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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