Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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