vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
