Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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